As a couple therapist, I have met hundreds of couples in search of fixing their relationship, rekindling their romance, trying to reconnect and heal their wounds. Time and time again, they present asking for communication tools, ways to argue better, or try to understand one another. As I sit with them in couple therapy, I ask myself is it really their communication they are trying to fix? Often what needs uncovering is the underlying emotional interaction between the two partners. Once uncovered, what becomes evident is the need to be loved, prioritized, understood and appreciated (to name a few). Each partner brings in their own emotional history and story into the relationship. Relationships can serve to heal some old wounds or at times resurface injuries. Once these underlying emotions can be named in therapy, the relationship struggles can begin their healing process. So, is poor communication at the core of the issues? It definitely plays a role. What couples need to do is spend time trying to connect regularly and not just in the thick of things. Date nights are a great way to set time aside just for the couple, remembering to have fun or add a little romance back into their lives. Checking in regularly, at the end of the
Self-compassion, which can be defined as extending kindness and understanding towards oneself in times or perceived failure, inadequacy or suffering, appears to be a completely foreign concept to many of the clients I see in my practice.
Anxiety can exacerbate even the simplest of parenting tasks and steal the gratification we should be receiving. But it is possible to gain control over your anxiety and create a healthy family dynamic.
Everybody wants to be happy; to have a life filled with love, health and good fortune. We all know that having a positive attitude feels better than a negative one. We know that positivity fuels success and makes life brighter.
My friends and I often discuss our relationships and support one another through our ups and downs. From sex to child rearing, nothing is taboo or too deep. So when Jane called me to vent the other day, I made the time to talk to her.